It’s Black and White

So for several years I have had this tugging at my heart to write my story.  To share with the world the hope the is in Christ. The life changing power of a life in Him. There is always a reason I don’t find the time. Work, family, mission trips, church activities, and yes even a bit of anxiety. Anxiety of how it will affect my brothers, parents, wife, children, friends and everyone I love.  It is obvious that I openly share the life changing testimony of what Jesus has done in my life openly.  How could I not! To write a book about all the things that led up to my life as a gay man is a new level of transparency that I keep holding back. But I can’t continue holding back and resisting all that God wants to do in and through millions of people’s lives.

On of the things I have to overcome to write this book, is the way I see myself.  You see as a child I had issues with my eyes and it made it difficult for me to read. As a result those struggles made me hate books and anything to do with books.  I couldn’t stand grammar, reading or writing.  To this day I still see myself as a person who can’t write, and that my grammar and spelling is atrocious! I thank God daily for spell check and far too many times find mistakes in my Facebook and blog posts. So to write a book seems impossible. But I think that is part of the reason He has placed this on my heart. He needs me in my weakness to expose His greatness. That my friends is what giving God all the honor and glory is all about. I know I can not write a blog post, much less a book on my own. I also know that when God say do something, you do it, He will take care of the rest.

For the world to really know the hope and resurrection power of Jesus Christ, they have to know the entire story. You see for the gay man to really see hope of leaving a sinful life behind, they have to be able to relate to the person who God set free. To the person struggling with same-sex attraction they have to know they are not alone. That I experienced many of the same thoughts, feelings and struggles that they may have felt or still be feeling. To the parents of the homosexual or strugglers who are trying to figure out how they speak truth into their child’s life, but still show support and love, I pray that this book will give them insight. To the Ex-gay who feels like they trapped between the gay and straight agenda, I pray that my story will offer hope and encouragement that you have made the right choice. That you are on the right path that God Wills for your life. It is possible to love, protect, and even defend the gay friends and family you have shared your life with, while still standing strong on the biblical principles that same-sex sex is sin, and sin is wrong, and God will always give us a way out. That speaking the truth is not about judgement, but about LOVE. Just as He will give a way out to all of those that call on His name. It doesn’t matter what sin you feel stuck in, God always will give a way out! It is the lies of the world that convince us we are trapped and bound forever. There is HOPE, it is real, it can and WILL be possible for God to give you a new life in Him. All you have to do is ask and then abide in Him.

Yesterday morning I woke up at 3 am and knew that I had to begin.  I wrote for about 4 house outlining all the things in my life that I feel must be told to really tell the story of what made me a gay man, the people and the situations that God sent my way to bring me back to Him so that I could now enjoy the life God intended for me all along.

This morning as I sat down to begin writing the first section of my story God quickly began speaking to me and the following is what came out. It wasn’t what I intended to write, but it came out in the middle of what I intended to write. So I have decided to post it and give God the Glory! I pray it speaks to you and those you love.

The world it’s so full of gray, it gives you permission to come and play.

The Truth it sets you free, with promises of what will be.

It is pretty black and white; God has the only real insight.


God has blessed you to be a blessing.

The devil has cursed you to take everything.

Be blessed, or be cursed, but to not know that is the worst.


Our earthly struggles bring us so much pain,

but this new life in Him has so much gain.

When the path seems to much to bear,

don’t worry there is rest in God’s easy Chair.

Go ahead and take a seat,

because Jesus loves to cleanse our feet.

It is in His humility and not His despair,

that He paid the price for our human repair.


As we lean back to think, the blood of Jesus acts like a sink.

His beautiful blood, flowing through our mud

His acts of perfect love, transferring peace of the white dove

It is in our time of lack, when we should just sit back

Knowing He carries the chair of our sinning repair


It’s time to stop the fight; God’s word is Black and White.

Just do what He says, and if you should fail

Know that you’re loved; He said so with every nail.

Written by Jason Maxwell December 31, 2014



  1. Thank you for your openness and for following the Love-Guidance within. I’m delighted that your messages are coming (at least partly) in the form of poetry. My favorite line is “God has blessed you to be a blessing.”

    • Jo,

      Thank you for your encouragement and I may be needing your help. I am sure I will need people like you with a gift for writing to help me edit 🙂

  2. Jason that is beautiful, touching and life changing. Keep listening to God’s instruction. He has so many blessings for you and your family thru this. Most important though is the souls that will be won for the kingdom.

    • Thank You Nikki. It will be a continuation of the great journey He has laid out for our family…I have a feeling He is about to put nitro in our engine to accelerate what He wants to do lol

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